Don’t Let Feelings Fool You?

So this Thanksgiving was definitely different – not bad, just different.  For many of us, we took extra precautions and limited the number of people we spent time with this Thanksgiving.  While it wasn't what we planned at the beginning of the year, I hope you had a wonderful holiday and were able to share it with family and friends – physically, virtually or both.  

So, I was talking to a really good friend of mine and she said, “It didn’t feel like the holidays.”  That caught me for a moment and I realized, our feelings really don’t come into it.  What I mean is – our feelings will fool us.  Even though it may not feel like the holidays, it is absolutely the end of November and Christmas is right around the corner.  This issue of our feelings is one we see in every aspect of our lives.  

We don’t do all sorts of things that are good for us because we don’t feel like it.  We don’t cook, because we don’t feel like it.  We don’t go for that walk, because we’re feeling tired.  We don’t read our bibles, because we’re feeling lazy.  Every time we allow our feelings to dictate what we do, we’re subject to go wrong.  All the things I mentioned above only cause us to suffer by not doing them.  Even when we don't feel like them, they are good for us.  When we lead by feelings, we are not being led by the spirit or the Word.  How many times have your feelings been contradictory to what you know is right?  How many times have your feelings led you down a path that resulted in pain and heartache?  

Our feelings are natural.  There is nothing wrong with them.  God made us this way.  But that is why He gives us the Word – to check them.  No matter how we feel about someone or something, we need to make sure we’re reacting appropriately based on the Word.  For example, if someone offends you, it may make you angry.  The way to respond is not attempting to get revenge – remember God fights for you.  It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get angry.  You shouldn’t sin.  

When you’re feelings are involved, I challenge you to take a step back and ask the Lord how to respond or what actions to take.  He will always answer an earnest plea.  Spend time reading your bible, the answer is in there and it will never lead you astray.  God gives us His Word because all that we’re facing is in there – it may look differently, but the lessons still apply today.  God is still the same God.  Get out of your feelings and spend time with the Lord and in God's Word.  It will lead to more peace and less stress in your life.

So Much to Be Thankful For

This year has been hard!  It has felt so much harder than years past with everything going on in the world – COVID19, weather events, social unrest, the contentious election, etc.  I could go on and on detailing all the ways, this year has been different and difficult in many ways.  Of course, we’ve been somewhat restricted from spending time with loved ones and travel for pleasure has been reduced for many of us.  I know I’ve had to cancel some trips and that’s been disheartening.  Many of us have lost loved ones or had loved ones diagnosed with serious illnesses this year.  Some have lost jobs and been concerned about how to make ends meet.  I know it feels way more pronounced this year than in any other year of my life.  

However, with all that, there is still so much to be thankful for.  We’re still here and in spite of what it may feel like, God is still here with us.  If you take a few minutes to just contemplate all God has done for you this year, you may be surprised.  We so often get caught up thinking about how the glass is half empty, we ignore that’s it’s also half full.  

As I look around my house, I realize that God has blessed me with so much more than I need.  I’ve not gone hungry one time because I didn’t have food to eat.  I haven’t missed a mortgage payment or any other payment this year.  God has kept me in relative good health (I’m a little bit overweight and I need to sleep more).  Even though we haven’t been physically together, I’ve been surrounded by good friends – dropping by (from a distance) or sending me reminders that I’m important to them (and reminding me that I’m important to God and not alone).  He wakes me up each morning and I continue to know who I am and whose I am – that is a true blessing.  These are just a few things that he reminded me of in the last five minutes.  I know my list could go on and on and on because if we really think about it, He’s done so much more for us that we could ever do for ourselves.  

He deserves more than our gratitude and our thanks for loving us enough to send Jesus.  All the other things He gives us for our pleasure?  How could we ever thank Him enough?  As we celebrate Thanksgiving differently this year, don’t allow sadness and regret to take hold.  Let’s take this Thanksgiving to be reminded of all the things we’ve taken for granted over the years and Thank God that we were able to experience them.  Pull out some photo albums and be reminded of all the good times you’ve had – encourage yourself in the Lord.  

Thank Him for all He’s done, all He’s doing and all that will be manifested in the future.  Remember we live by Faith and not by sight.  God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  Make sure you’re thanking Him for it, even before you see it.

I hope and pray that your Thanksgiving will be blessed beyond measure and will exceed your expectations.  Take care and stay safe.    

We Are Responsible For Our Choices

Ever had someone say ‘he made me do it’? Or, ‘I only did that because she…..’ Some of us make a habit of placing blame for our actions or lack thereof on other people.  It’s never our fault that something happened.  The car didn’t get repossessed because we didn’t pay the bill; it was the dealership’s fault for not giving us more time.  It wasn’t our fault we didn’t get the job when we weren’t prepared for the interview; the supervisor should have been more lenient and given us that job because we’d been there so long.   It’s not our fault we didn’t have the money to replace that tire on our car, even though we just bought a new cell phone.  Each of these situations could be avoided by making better choices on the front end.  

We have to get into the habit of self-reflection so we identify the areas of our lives that need work.  Sometimes people do have it in for us, but many times we sabotage ourselves and then expect God to fix it.  Instead of us, changing the way we operate and following God’s Word, we want a miraculous intervention.  God will miraculously intervene on occasion when we are following His Word completely or when He is making a point.  He is, after all God, He can do what He wants to do, but He will not contradict His own nature.  He is not a man who will lie (Numbers 23:19).

None of us are perfect and there are always areas where we can improve.  For me, I know an area is my health, related to exercise and eating properly.  I fully recognize that I don’t always eat right and exercise the way I should.  So, I can’t blame my lack of doing those things on the fact that I work long hours.  I mean, I could, but it wouldn’t be honest.  I could get out of bed and exercise in the morning, if I chose to do so.  I could set aside time to cook so I’m eating a healthy well-balanced meal each day, but it would take work.  It’s way more convenient to order a meal or grab something already prepared.  It’s just not necessarily healthy to do so. 

The fact is that I like chocolate and desserts, to my detriment sometimes; and I don’t like to exercise.  Both of these facts helped lead to my current reality….a bit overweight.  With that said, I also have the ability to change the narrative.  My choices are my own.  God gave us free will and I have the ability to make some wise choices or not.  I am responsible for them – each one.  That means I’m also responsible for the consequences of those choices.  I don’t get to choose the consequences, but they lay at my feet.  

I’m not taking God out of this by any means.  While I’m responsible for my choices, I clearly need Him to help me execute when my choices line up with His Word.  If I didn’t need His help, I would take care of everything myself.  Since we know we can’t do that, we have to lean on Him for guidance and wisdom.  If we choose not to ask Him or seek Him, we will make the choices on our own and we are not good decision makers absent the Lord.  

As you look at your life and areas needing change, own the mistakes you made that contributed to the results you’re getting.  Once you do that, you can seek God’s grace and mercy and His wisdom to provide a solution out of it.  I’m not saying the solution will be easy.  It may be hard and painful, but you’ll be better off in the long run following His guidance than any other.  Remember, we are responsible for our choices and actions, but if we seek God first, He’ll direct our path and if we seek Him in the midst, He will provide us a way to freedom.  

Keep Your Word Even When it Hurts

Years ago, I wrote an entry entitled Seek God First.  In it, I explained why it’s so important to seek God in life changing decisions.  What I didn’t realize at the time was that every decision we make can be life changing.  This is one reason the bible speaks to praying without ceasing.  We need to be constantly focused on God and His will, so we won’t step off course.  When we’re not, we can get easily distracted and make decisions which feel like small ones that will have greater impact on our lives than we can imagine.  

Have you ever been duped by a person who said they were your friend and you had to pay a great cost?  I have.  A long time ago, a “friend” of mine came to me with an issue.  She couldn’t get a cell phone on her own.  I didn’t ask why and I didn’t seek God’s guidance on it.  She promised me she would pay the bill and keep everything current, if only I’d help her get that phone.  She had a small child at home and I didn’t see a reason not to help her out.   

Well, as you’ve probably figured out, she didn’t do what she said.  Several months passed with her knowing she wasn’t making even one payment and when I was finally notified, the bill due was a significant amount.  When confronted about it, she couldn’t quite understand why I was so upset.  You see, she was used to not paying for things she agreed to which was why she couldn’t get a phone in the first place.  I, on the other hand, always pay my debts.  If she’d told me, she was unable to pay the bill, for sure I would have turned off the phone, but I would have paid it.  

As a result of my not seeking God in the first place, our relationship ended (I forgave her, but couldn't trust her) and I was out of a significant amount of money at the time.  Now could our relationship have ended, if I’d said “No” about the phone?  Sure, but I wasn’t responsible for her situation.  It wasn’t my responsibility to get her out of it.  I likely interfered with God teaching her a lesson.  That was a bought lesson that I will never repeat.  But now, I think back on it and I realize God taught me some important lessons during that experience.  Seek Him in everything!  Sometimes it may appear that His answers don’t make sense, but remember He knows what you don’t.  He already knows the answer before any question is asked.  He knows what he’s protecting us from.  

He gives us free will and we can use it to make pledges or enter contracts which are bad for us.  When we do, we are stuck with them even if they are foolish.  The Word says, it’s better not to make a vow, than to break one (Ecclesiastes 5:2-6).  Breaking a vow is sin.  In my case, by getting her that phone, I made a vow to pay that bill to the cell company.  My name and word were on the line.  So even though, it costed me heavily at the time, I made it right.  God honored my integrity and gave the money back to me and more.  However, it all could have been avoided had I sought God first.    

Now, I’ve heard from some people, just don’t pay back a debt.  If you agree to do anything, do it (Deuteronomy 23:21-23).  We have to have integrity even when it will hurt us.  God is a God of truth.  If we are His representatives in the world, we have to be people of truth.  If you give your word to do something, and don’t fulfill your word, it is sin.  You’ll pay for the sin and likely more than you would have by keeping your word in the first place.  So think before you speak.  Seek God’s Guidance.  Keep your word and your promises.  God honors that.

Get Out of Your Own Way

So, this week, I realized I’m a workaholic.  I know, right?!?  The realization has been a while coming.  I knew that I was one of those people who worked hard, wanted to please, was determined to get the job done, etc.  What I hadn’t admitted to myself was that I’m a full on workaholic.  It was hard to admit and I understand better it is part of the reason I don’t get as many things at home done.  I’m always so busy trying to get my job done, I’m mentally exhausted when it comes to dealing with my personal stuff.  That is not good. 

Yes, I could say, it’s because I’m representing women in high level management positions and I want to make sure we are well respected.  I could say I want to represent minorities in a way that counters the stereotype that we don’t work hard.  I could say I don’t want people waiting on me when things need to get done.  I could even say my input is important to meeting the mission and setting expectations for those who work alongside and for me.  All of those things are true. But the more I think about it, getting the work done is an area I can control.  In a world where it is obvious we have so little control, I can put my stamp on the work I produce.  Yes, God gives me the ability to do the work and to gain success, but I have to commit to the effort.  And clearly sometimes, I commit in an unhealthy way.  

I don’t know about you, but skipping lunch or working exceptionally long hours isn’t good for me.  Yet, I do it.  And I know God isn’t pleased with that.  God wants us to have self-control and balance.  Jesus had them.  I want to be more and more like Him.   

I’ve heard admission of a problem is the first step to recovery.  So, I’m admitting mine.  Now that I’m more conscious of this problem, I’m praying about it and asking God to help me manage my time and myself better.  He said to cast my cares of Him, because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). I just need to get out of my own way and trust Him to teach me how to move and when.  I have many more faults, but this is the one God is dealing with right now, as I continually pray that He will work out of me that which is not like Him.  He knows me better than I know myself and while I’m writing this, I know this will be a journey.

I challenge you to think about what you’re doing that is not healthy in your life and be real with yourself.  It’s okay to not like some of the things you find.  Don’t allow yourself to get down because of them.  We are flawed and have frailties.  That doesn’t make God love us any less.  He sees beauty in our brokenness and imperfections.  It’s a matter of turning to Him and allowing Him to heal the broken pieces.  Remember, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-11).  We must turn to Him for our worth and not worry about what others think.  As long as we are honoring and obeying Him, we’re doing our part.  Get out of your own way and see yourself as God sees you….through the blood of Jesus if you’re saved.  If you’re not saved, now is the perfect opportunity to ask Jesus into your heart and to be your savior.   He won’t disappoint.