Good Parenting!

So, disclaimer up front, I don’t have children – I’m not a parent. But, I’ve been a child and I’ve worked with children through church for many years. I have lots of nieces and nephews. I’ve also read scripture to learn God’s way of raising them to be successful adults. Am I trying to pass myself off as an expert? Absolutely not. But I do have some life lessons and I’ve learned from watching other people raise their children. Sometimes it’s easier for someone who isn’t in the middle of the situation to see the big flashing lights screaming “Warning! Warning!”

Today, more than ever with the opioid crisis and the rise in suicide, it’s important to make sure children are getting the attention and love they need to grow into confident, successful adults. How do we get them through the teen years when there is so much pulling at them and way too much information to process? It’s a challenge. There are a couple of tips to combat these influences that I can recommend. 

The first is to introduce them to the Lord (Deut 6:6-7). How do we do that? Tell them the gospel, of course. But the children around us learn from what we do more than what we say (Jam 1:22-26). Do they see you praying about everything (Phil 4:6-7)? Do they see you regularly reading your bible and living a life consistent with its teachings? Do they see you giving God praise even when things aren’t going well? Do they feel your love through discipline and training? Do they have time with you? Are you teaching them biblical truths? If we don’t teach them, someone will teach them something (Prov 22:6). 

Our first relationship is with our parents, whom we are to honor (Deut 5:16). It helps shape and mold us and our perspective for life. If we are blessed with good parents, they love us enough to not be our friends as we grow up. You see, friends want people to like them.  Good, godly parents are not concerned about their child liking them (since we’re fickle any way and our feelings change from one moment to the next), they are more concerned about their child respecting them. They are more concerned about developing character in their children and teaching them life lessons that will build resilience, perseverance and lead to them being whole people. They love their children enough that they will discipline their children so they learn the right way to go (Prov 29:17). Understand, I didn’t say punish them. Punishment is not a good parent’s motive for disciplining their child. Discipline is for correction. It gives children boundaries and limits, which we all need. That’s why good parents don’t discipline their child when they are angry (Eph 6:4). That is why God chastens His children, because he loves us and is teaching us. God is a good, good father. He is the standard for parents. Parents set an example for their children’s relationship with the Lord - either positive or negative.

The second tip is to actually talk to your children.  I know they have their nose in the phone and all the answers are one or two syllables, but persevere. Schedule family dinners and ban phones at the table. Use conversation starters to get information about what’s important to them. Ask about their day and their teachers. Find out what’s important to them. Get to know their friends. Know who they are hanging out with. Know who is influencing their decisions. Care about the things they care about. Show them that they are important. Many parents buy a lot of things, but it is way more important to give them time with you. Be vulnerable with them. Share your lessons learned with them. Their experiences are different, so don’t minimize the impact it has on them. Don’t be dismissive or in a rush. Set aside quality time with them. 

Parenting is such an important job. You are stewarding God’s creation and building the future. The responsibility that comes with children is great. Don’t squander it. Don’t miss it. Think about how you can do be more engaged with them and not just doing a lot of stuff or buying a lot of things. Remember you’re raising them for God and doing what’s best for them. All of us benefit from good parenting. 

Living the Life

It’s really easy to think about our priorities and the things important to us. But how often do we question whether our priorities are God’s priorities? How often do we question how we are living our lives and whether we are living up to God’s expectations? Not of our own will and power, but that of the Holy Spirit who lives on the inside of the Christ follower (1 Cor 3:16). 

We know that when we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, we become a new creature. Old things are put away and all things become new (2 Cor 5:17). Then the question is why do we keep doing the old things. According to Romans, we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Rom 12:2). As our minds are renewed, then our hearts are changed and our actions began to line up with who we are. 

The more time we spend in the presence of God, the better we know Him and the better we know ourselves and who we are in Him. The more we know Him, the more we love Him. Just as we want to please those closest to us, as we draw closer to God and He draws closer to us (Jer 29:12-14), the more we want to please Him as well. We begin to think more of Him and less of ourselves. 

When we put Him first (Matt 6:33), it becomes more about what He wants than what we want. We recognize that He knows what’s best and that He sees what we don’t. We begin to recognize that His will for us is better than anything we can come up with on our own. We begin to understand that doing things His way, is the best way for us and gets the best results. We stop worrying about what others expect of us, because we realize they have no rule and reign over us unless we give it to them. We desire to live a life that reflects Him. We want to live up to His standard. We learn that we don’t control the outcome and that should take the pressure off. 

When we choose to be obedient and live the life God has called us to, a life reflective of the Son of God, we realize we don’t have to worry about the decisions we make or the outcomes (Heb 5:2-8). If we are obedient, God has it and He has us. James tells us to be doers of the word and not just hearers (Jam 1:22-26). God shares Himself with us out of His abundant love for us. He wants us to do well and therefore, He gives us instruction (Psa 32:8; Prov 3:5-6). When we follow the instructions, blessings come (Deut 28:1-14). When we don’t, we get the opposite. We all mess up. But do we put ourselves over God in our hearts? Are you living an obedient life or one of our own choosing? Do we follow God’s leading or that of our own desires? God gives us His Word so we will know Him better, as well as, how to live and obey? Are you living the life? 

The Decision is Yours!

We make decisions every day about where we’ll go and what we’ll do….or not do. Each one of those decisions not only impacts today but tomorrow and the next day. What I eat today will have an impact on whether I can button my pants tomorrow or the next day. Whether I sleep tonight will determine if I’m at my best tomorrow. Whether I give to someone in need today may have an impact on whether I will have next time the opportunity comes around. Everything we do, comes with consequences – some good, some bad.

At church today during the sermon, the pastor said, the decisions we make today will determine our next chapter in life. As he ministered, I realized how true that is. My decision many years ago to study engineering has led me to where I am today. Did I have any idea this is where I’d end up? Absolutely not, but I had a plan to give whatever position my best and represent the Lord well. He has been faithful and opened doors I never could have opened on my own. His providence has worked throughout my life. What is God’s providence? It’s how He directs things in the universe and moves them around for our good. As Pastor Craig said today, God’s providence is best read like the written Hebrew language – backwards. When I look back over my life, I can see God’s hand all over it.

From the opportunity to go to a really good university (two, actually), to my first job while I was in grad school (which I asked one of my professors for out of the blue) to my first real job to the one I have now. God’s hand has worked through out my life and has led me to places I never would have gone on my own. God’s plans for me have always been to give me a future and a hope (Jer 29:11). Even when I couldn’t see His hand, He was there (Psa 16:8). Even when things didn’t look good or like I thought they should, He was there moving pieces around to bring about His purpose and plan.  

We get to decide every day whether we will live to please Him or not. And choosing not to decide, is a decision. If we’re not following Him, we are separated from Him. There is no middle ground with Him. We either are or we aren’t. And even when we aren’t, His mercy still provides us another chance (Lam 2:22-23) until we take our last breath. Our dilemma is that we don’t know when that will be. We don’t know when we’ll be called away from this place (Matt 24:36) and have to give an account of all our deeds – both good and bad (Rom 14:11-12). That’s why we can’t take time for granted, because we don’t control it and we have no say in it.

It behooves us to get it right with God now. And once we accept Jesus and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins (1 John 1:9) and then the Lord sees us through the blood of Jesus (Heb 7:27). How awesome is that. God’s grace is sufficient for us (2 Cor 12:9). Once we recognize that life doesn’t just happen to us, we have power to influence it. Yes, bad things happen, but we get to decide how we will work through them. It’s always better with God, we just have to decide to let Him lead instead of thinking we know best – WE DON’T. No matter how smart we are, He's smarter. Decide this day, who you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Josh 24:15). What about you?

Happy Labor Day!

As I was writing a message to my staff leading up to the holiday weekend, I learned something new.  According to the Department of Labor’s history on the day, the holiday is rooted in the late nineteenth century, when labor activists pushed for a federal holiday to recognize the many contributions workers have made to America's strength, prosperity, and well-being. What a nice way to honor the contributions each worker brings to build this imperfect but great country we live in. I wish you an amazing holiday!

As we celebrate, I'd ask you to consider the labor you’ve done for the One and Only Master we serve. While the bible indicates we should not eat if we don’t work (2 Thes 3:10), it also indicates we were given a commission by Christ prior to his ascension to the Father. Jesus told us to go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation (Mark 16:15). So, what have you done to fulfill that commission? Are you preaching the gospel where you are? Are you telling the good news at work? Are you telling the good news at the grocery store? Do you share the good news with those friends you know are heading in an unsafe direction? Do you see them as valuable to Jesus just like you are? 

The bible says the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few (Matt 9:37-38). Are you a laborer?  Are you trying to remain comfortable in your position or are you willing to be uncomfortable to obey Jesus? I sometimes forget that I’m just passing through this place and it’s not my home (Heb 13:14). And it’s not yours. 

Have you ever wondered why you don’t every really feel comfortable in a hotel? You can bring all the things you need along with you on the trip but it’s never quite right. You have to find the things you need because they are not like you have them in your own space. The bed doesn’t feel like yours. It’s foreign. 

Well, that is the feeling we should have while we’re here during this time. Everything we see is temporary – the job, the house, the car, the pay check, etc (2 Cor 4:18). It’s all temporary and it’s all for God’s glory. None of what we have is just for us. God has placed us in whatever our position so we can bless someone else (Heb 13:16). 

God blesses us and He’s always with us. He knows us and our weaknesses and yet He gives us what we need to grow and learn to be more like Him. Can you imagine how productive we could be if we were more like God – the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit? If we just stayed focused on the One thing – Him.  How do we know God better? How do we gain strength, endurance and patience for the work He has before us? Let’s find time for Him. Let’s make sure we are ready and prepared for the work ahead of us. Remember, the harvest in plentiful and the laborers are few. Are you laboring?