Friends Love!

Friendship is an immeasurable gift that we give to each other. When it’s done right, it’s a true depiction of what love should look like. Real friends love….and they love hard (Prov 17:17). They put each other’s needs ahead of their own. If they know Jesus, they pray for each other and provide for each other. They are there when everyone else has gone home making sure the other is okay. They sacrifice for each other. (Prov 18:24)

Recently, I had two friends on different occasions come to visit me in my new city. Both of them, even though they were traveling spent time with me preparing my new home so I would be closer to fully living in the house. They didn’t have to do that. They could have come to visit and just hung out in the city. However, they put my needs ahead of their desire to sightsee or spend time being entertained. That is what real friendship looks like. It looks like identifying a need for someone close and working to meet it. 

I’ve been blessed with amazing friends and I don’t mean acquaintances. Friends are not just the ones I laugh and joke with. They are not just the ones I share a meal with. They are the ones who know the deeper parts of me and they show up. The thing about friendship is that it’s a two-way street. You can’t expect someone else to do all the giving and you never provide anything to the relationship. That is called taking advantage of someone’s generosity.

So, if you find yourself short on people who will go the extra mile for you and are true friends, consider whether you are being a true friend or not. And the flip side of that is if you have people who manipulate and use you, you should reevaluate those relationships and make sure they are ones you should hold on to. Life (in the earth) is too short to be distracted.

Don't Waste Time

This weekend I spent time with my parents and with other family members. Since I live several hundred miles away from them, I don't get to do that often. It was a wonderful time to love and laughter - one I'm so glad I didn't miss. We often take for granted that we will have time later for important things, so we work like crazy to obtain stuff. And how much of that stuff do we really need? 

Must we have a high-end car when a more modest one will get us from point A to point B? Do we have to purchase the most expensive shoes because everyone else is doing it? Who are we trying to impress? Do they really care? What does any of that say about who we are? Our character? Does seeing someone with a lot of stuff make them a better person or more important? It doesn't. It just means they have more stuff. Don't get me wrong. It is right that we work and that we do our best (Ecc 9:10). There is nothing wrong with having some comforts in life. They should just have their place. They should not prevent us from being in a position to help and love others. 

And what are we missing out on while we're obtaining all the stuff? Family time and vacations? Birthdays? Holidays? Just plain fun? And that's okay, until tragedy strikes and it will strike all of us. Recently, I had six friends lose loved ones, several of them were unexpected. I can only imagine how they all wish for more time with those they loved. I am determined to live in the here and now and consider that my life is like a vapor - here now and possibly gone tomorrow (Jam 4:14-16). There are no guarantees when it comes to time (Psa 39:4-5). Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. 

I've often said I don't live to work, but I work to live. My work is not who I am, it is one of the things I do. Life on earth is exceptionally short (out of all eternity, we get up to 80-90 years at best). I want to live every part of my life. I don't want to leave any part of it wasted. I want to travel while I'm young and well enough to enjoy it and learn from the people and cultures I contact. I want to try new things and develop new skills along the way. I want to give God my best and that goes way beyond my comfort (Eph 5:15-17). 

I don't know your story or what your plans are for the future, but I recommend you not put off the important things. You don't know how much time you have and you don't know how much time those around you have. Don't squander it. You will only regret it. 

We Need Each Other

I think I mentioned that I was moving several weeks ago. So, I’ve done it. I finally have a residence in my new city and we’re in the home stretch. Waiting on my household goods to be delivered so I can settle in and just be. It feels like a long time coming and while I’ve been planning and pulling things together, I didn’t realize how much I needed another person with me to give me the encouragement to get some additional things done. 

A good friend of mine came to visit this weekend and she encouraged me to complete some projects that would have to be done, but I would have been doing them by myself later. That would have been so much more difficult. And I realized one more way the bible relates to the things going on in our lives. 

God said it’s not good that man should be alone and made him a partner (Gen 2:18-24). Now, I’m not trying to marry or say it’s the same, but the principle is true. It is not good for man or woman to be alone. We are made to be part of a community, part of the body of Christ. We need each other (Gal 6:2). My friends have skills that I don’t and they complement the skills God gave me. We were never meant to walk this journey alone or to live out this life by ourselves. 

Yes, people are messy and they will bring you pain, but each of us does the same thing.  We are messy and bring others pain.  As we mature in Christ, we see past the pain to our progress and the help the other person may need. That’s what relationship is all about. Loving others as we love ourselves (Matt 22:34-40). Can you imagine how painful it must be to the Father when we reject Him? Or how painful it is to Jesus when we thumb our nose as His gift of eternal life after all He sacrificed to give it to us? Yet, God loves us and He is faithful to forgive us when we confess our sins to Him even though we cheat on Him doing things we know are inappropriate and wrong. 

So, if God can forgive our rejection, can we not put hurt feelings aside and forgive others? Can’t we look past ourselves and see others? (Phil 2:3-4) Are we in self-denial that we can’t see we’re not perfect either? We need each other. We need others to hold us accountable. We need others to celebrate with us. We need others to share in our sorrow. We need others to encourage us when we’re down (1 Thes 5:11). We just need each other. Don’t miss out on the full life you can have by trying to hide from frustrations and pain or to prevent others from knowing the real us. Those things make you grow. Live life to its fullest and surround yourself with people who enhance your life. It’s worth it.

Rest and Restoration

It’s been a while since we talked about self-care and rest, so I thought it appropriate to remind all of us to take care of ourselves. It might sound selfish in our world, but it may be the most selfless thing we can do. I don’t know about you, but I run until I hit the wall many times. Life happens and things get out of control (or my control) and I go and go and go. I work hard and sometimes forget to rest. I know I need to rest, but I put it off. Until I crash….and along the way, I miss lunch and eat junk. I do all the bad stuff, because I don’t take time to rest and rest in Him (Prov 19:23). 

So, how do we take time away from all the things going on around us? How do we take a break when we have work, school, sports, homework, travel, etc.? We just do. God gave us the gift of the sabbath. He set aside the 7th day to rest in Him and be restored so we are able and prepared to meet the coming week (Gen 2:2-3; Exo 23:12). The Sabbath was made for man. God knows His creation and He knows that we need rest and restoration to be at our best for Him, so He gives us a day to reflect and spend focuses on Him to be restored. 

I have to repent because I don’t always rest in Him. I push through, because I admit I’m a bit of a workaholic. I like accomplishing something. I like seeing results. But that is selfish. It is for me, when I should be listening and moving with God and making sure I’m at my best for Him. If you’re like me, if you’re not accomplishing something, you sometimes think it’s wasted time. But it is not. God created us in a way that we need time with Him and we need time of just plain rest (Jer 31:25). It is at rest that our bodies repair themselves because that’s the way God created them. I know that mentally, but don’t always act like it. Like Paul, the things I know are right to do, I don’t. That is sin. To know what is right and not to do it, is sin to me (Jam 4:17).

"LORD, forgive me for not following your leading and direction in this area of my life. Forgive me for not always doing what I know is right to do. Please keep me close to you and remind me when I step out of line. Give me the power to take time out and rest in you. Remind me why it’s important and help me to be all that you have for me to be. I love you and want to please you. Please continue to make me more and more like Jesus. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!"

I hope and pray that you are doing what you know is right and getting proper rest. It’s so important to our health – physical, mental and spiritual. Join me in setting the allotted time aside and resting in Him. I know we won’t be disappointed. 

Procrastination is an Enemy!

Managing time is a necessity to getting things done. It is a skill that many of us need to develop. How often to you say or hear, I don’t have time for this or that. Is it a true? Is there really not time? Or, are there other obstacles to us getting things done? One thing that poses a problem for us to getting things done is procrastination. 

According to the Britannica dictionary, procrastination means to be slow or late about doing something that should be done; or to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, because you are lazy, etc. 

I know I suffer from it. When there is a thing I don’t like or a thing I don’t really know how to do, instead of tackling it, I will find any other thing to do. It might be something productive, but it’s not what I should be doing at the time. I make these plans to do a thing and then I’ll find another something that I would prefer – maybe it’s reading a book I needed finish, cooking a meal, taking a much-needed break, taking a walk, or finishing some other work. While all of those may be beneficial, they may not be what I should be doing. 

However, it’s up to me to make things happen and to do them right the first time. When I procrastinate, I’m taking time from something else….maybe it’s a priority or maybe it isn’t. It could be a waste of my time. Either way, what I’m not doing is what I know I should be doing. Like the Apostle Paul, the things I know I should do, I don’t (Rom 7:15). At the end of the day, what does that get me? Stress. Confusion. Drama. 

Time is not promised (Jam 4:12-14). Our days are numbered and we only have so much time (Job 14:5). None of us know how much time we have and if we don’t do our part, the things assigned to us either don’t get done or someone else will have to do them. How do you feel when someone leaves work for you to do because they didn’t get to it? It’s frustrating to me, but I don’t think about how I do that to others. Loving others as I love myself means I take care of what I need to do so others won’t have to (Mark 12:31). 

Procrastination is the enemy of accomplishment. If we want to accomplish anything, we have to do the work (Prob 6:4). Things worth having don’t just fall in our laps. We have to prepare and move the needle forward. Putting off that class, will only prolong the promotion. Delaying the visit to the gym and healthy eating habits, will only prolong good health. What are you avoiding or delaying because you don’t like it? What is it keeping you from? 

Let’s take a long look at ourselves and identify our time sucks and call it what it is. Let’s follow God’s example in creation – do the work first and then rest (Gen 1-2). We’ll be better for it.

Honesty is the Best Policy!

Have you ever been around a person who rarely tells the truth? How did that make you feel? For me, it makes me feel undervalued and disrespected – as if the person telling the lies thought they were the smartest person in the room and would never be caught. It also made me not trust anything the person said or did. If a person would lie to my face, what else would they do (Luke 16:10). If I couldn’t trust them, what did that mean for our relationship? How unhealthy was it? 

So, that informs how we should operate with the people around us. We should strive to be honest with people, whether in an intimate/familial relationship or as acquaintances. We should be honest even if it’s uncomfortable. If you want to be trusted, you have to be trustworthy and tell the truth as you know it. That is why as Christ followers when teaching or advising or ministering, it so important to stick with what the bible says and not add our opinions to it as if it were gospel. The Word speaks for itself, as the bible says let God be true and every man a liar (Romans 3:4) for if God says a thing it is the Truth. 

But what about you? Do the people around you trust you? Can people trust what comes out of your mouth? Do you tell the truth when you speak? Do your actions line up with your words? In the area of trust, honesty and integrity work together (2 Cor 8:21). Honesty is to tell the truth or be true, whereas integrity is about having consistent behavior based on truth or religiously following moral principles (Prov 11:3). So, in essence, you can’t have integrity without honesty. 

So, where do you line up in this area? Is it one to change? This shows up in every part of your life. Your intimate relationships, your business relationships, your finances, your work, etc. Dishonesty has consequences that are usually detrimental and the longer it goes on, the more detrimental it becomes. Another issue is that when you’re not honest with others, it’s not likely your honest with yourself. And that is a dangerous place to be. 

If you can’t be honest with yourself, you will give others more power than they actually have. You will allow yourself to believe that others hold you back. You will allow yourself to believe that you can’t do any better. You will allow yourself to believe that things just happen to you. You will never see the hand you had in your outcomes. Most of the time, our outcomes are a result of the choices we’ve made (Gal 6:7). Until we admit those choices to ourselves and how we played a part in where we are, we will never seek to reflect and change them where needed. We will always be a victim? What lies are you telling yourself that cause you to be stagnant and unproductive? Stop it. Embrace the truth, get up and do something about it. There is hope. There is a way out. Ask God to give you wisdom for the next step (Jam 1:5). He is faithful and just to complete what He started (Phil 1:6-7).

Jesus is Not Dead, He is Alive!

As we go through this life, we often face challenges and obstacles that will knock us for a loop. We see things happen in the world and can’t understand how they can be allowed. We face chronic illnesses and natural disasters and mass shootings. All of which can, if given enough weight, shake our faith. 

Some might ask, how can a loving God allow such things to happen? Does God really exist if these things happen as frequently as they do? Where is Jesus in all this? Well, while we can’t always see Him working, the Bible tells us that God is everywhere and He knows everything (Psa 139:7-12; Heb 4:13). Nothing catches Him off guard or by surprise. In fact, before the world was created (2 Tim 1:9), God already knew His son would have to die to save humanity, and He still created us. He had so much love to share that there was still an abundance of that love for the world He would create by the Word and the Spirit (Gen 1). The same world that would reject Him and all He had to give. 

So, well before the fall (Gen 3), He determined Jesus would come into this world as a human baby, grow up and be the blameless sacrifice to carry the sins of the world to the cross in a horrible death. And then…..three days later, He would rise again with power over death and the grave (1 Cor 15:55-57). He is NOT dead! He is alive. 

And even though bad things happen, because we as humans reject the love and sacrifice of God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – He still loves us. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen world.  People are messy and have all sorts of issues. People are selfish and greedy and consequences are the result of our actions. We use all the natural resources of the earth and pollute our environment and expect the earth not to react with terrible storms and weird weather conditions and patterns. We want what we want with no regard to others, and then we expect God to intervene when we destroy it all. There are consequences for our actions – good and bad. 

Yes, there will be trials and tribulations to make us stronger, if we are in Christ (Jam 1:2-4). It’s really up to us. Jesus is where He has been since He ascended into Heaven all those years ago. He is alive, sitting at the right hand of the Father interceding for us (John 17:22). But will we accept the gift he offers – eternal life that begins right here, right now (John 3:16). When we accept Christ, the Holy Spirit seals us as Christ followers (Eph 1:13). Then we go from death into life (John 5:24). We’re still here in this world, but we have a new home with God in Heaven. We are adopted into His family and we become joint heirs with Christ (Rom 8:16-17). As we seek our Heavenly Father first and His righteousness, we can call on Him when we are in need – for peace, for protection, for provision, etc. 

Jesus is Alive! He is NOT dead! No matter what it looks like, don’t ever forget that. Be encouraged because what we see is only temporary (2 Cor 4:18). He went to prepare a place for us that where He is we can also be (John 14:2-3). Don’t lose hope! Don’t lose faith! Stand on the Word. Because He lives, we can face our tomorrows and we have hope (Heb 10:23). He lives! He lives! He lives!