Do You Need to Set Some Boundaries?

This week has been a doozy. Between lots of work and prepping for finals, I'm traveling (for work) and that creates its own challenges. It's been a long week and I'm looking forward to a nap. 

But, before I do, let's chat. Last week, I wrote about boundaries and how they are God's idea. He sets boundaries for us to ensure our safety. When we live inside them, blessings come. Today, I'm writing about the need for us to set boundaries in our everyday lives for what we will live with and what we won't so we can live free and at peace.

Have you ever had a good friend who had a habit that drove you crazy? Or was just an annoyance? But, the habit made you avoid contact with them or limit your time with them. They were different than you and it drove a wedge between you. Ever given someone access to you and they didn't live up to the level of access causing you to be hurt or back away from them? 

When that happens, you can't actually put boundaries on other people or force them to rise to the level of your expectation. But, you can give yourself some boundaries about what you will or will not do or live with to obtain and maintain peace. And, you can be honest with your friend about whatever the issue is. It's our responsibility to voice what we see going on - people cannot read our minds (Prov 27:5-6). 

Just because we raise an issue with someone, doesn’t mean it has to be a confrontation or a heated conversation. We can still remain friends, when we talk out our issues or problems (Amos 3:3). No one has to change for us, but we can set parameters so our relationships can be maintained (Prov 27:9).  At the end of the day, a quote from Lysa TerKeurst is appropriate - "Mean what you say. Say what you mean. And, don't say it mean." 

Check yourself and see if maybe you have allowed some people into places they never should have been, given their level of responsibility. It's not too late to set some boundaries and have some conversations where you need them. 

Setting Boundaries

This weekend I participated in a virtual women’s conference – Desperate for Jesus – out of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship hosted by Chrystal Hurst and Priscilla Shirer. Many years ago, their mother started the conference at their church for the women there and now it is held annually and it was virtual as well for the past two years. So I attended the conference from the comfort of my kitchen and the Holy Spirit really moved.  As a note, the conference was so good – from the speakers to the worship to the prayer – I highly recommend it as you can participate from your computer at home if you don’t want to travel. So one of the speakers, Lysa TerKeurst, spoke on the need to have boundaries and it gave me a new perspective that I want to share with you. 

We often think setting boundaries with those around us can be mean or somehow unfair to them. However, we have to understand that within boundaries we find freedom. She taught from Gen 2 and the message really provided some insight into how boundaries allow us to move freely within them. In Gen 2:16-17, God gave Adam instruction that he could eat from any tree except the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. This was Adam’s only boundary in the Garden of Eden. Of everything else, he had free reign. He could eat from any other edible plant or tree and he could go anywhere in the Garden. There was freedom within his boundaries. It’s when we violate the boundaries that we get adverse or bad consequences. God never intended for us to know good from evil, He wanted us to be obedient so we wouldn’t have to. With obedience, comes the blessing (Luke 11:28).

Ever had or seen a dog with an invisible fence? Once he/she learns the boundaries of the fence, they are free to run and play with no issues. That fence is there to protect them and others from the harm that can come from them running loose and having no rules or order. That is what God does for us. He sets boundaries for our own good where we can roam and run in safety. When we step outside them, the harm comes.  

When I think about my own life, whenever I have stepped outside the boundaries set for me as a child or an adult, it has never fared well. God is one of order (1 Cor 14:33) as seen by the oneness of His own person – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He sets a path for us through His word and we choose to stay within His boundaries or we don’t. When we operate within His boundaries, there is liberty and we are free to move as we will. It’s hard to remember that we are not in control. God created us and the entire world. He’s gets to set the parameters for us (Prov 19:21). It’s always in those moments we want to set our own that we get in trouble. Stay inside God’s boundaries. He’s never wrong (Rom 8:28).

How Does Your Character Stack Up?

Ever been in a situation where you knew you were supposed to do something, but you could lie your way out of it? Where it would be more convenient and just plain easier for you, if you got out of it? Recently, a friend of mine showed real character and integrity when she was traveling for work and someone who was with her tested positive for COVID. She was masking while on travel, but was in close contact with the person. She wasn’t symptomatic, but she wasn’t boosted. Everyone on the trip was advised that if you were in close contact with a COVID positive person and weren’t vaccinated and boosted, you should quarantine and remain at the travel location for 5 days. 

Now this friend was fully vaccinated and could have lied about being boosted. There was no way anyone would have known different unless she revealed it to them. She could have put on a more protective face covering and faked it for the rest of the trip. She may have been tempted to lie and continue on with her trip. But, she didn’t. She stood on who she is in Christ and did the right thing (Jam 4:17)…..even though she wouldn’t be able to go home on time and even though there were no signs she was sick. She understood that God would know, because He knows everything (Psa 139:1-3). She was more concerned with pleasing Him than her own comfort. 

What about you? What would you do in that situation? Would you have just lied and gone home? Would you be honest and transparent? I ask myself that question and while I’d like to think I would do the right thing, until you’re in the situation you just don’t know. She set a great example for me to follow as she follows Christ (1 Cor 11:1). Can you say that you’ve set a good example for following Christ to those around you? 

Someone said something recently to me and it’s true – people are watching you. No matter who you are, people are watching. They are taking note of who you say you are compared to who you really are. What lessons are you teaching them (Matt 18:6)? Do you do what you say you will do? Do you lie? Do you cheat? Do you steal? Are you really a person of integrity or are you just a talker? 

My friend showed me who she was by admitting the anger at self for not having found time to take a booster but still standing on what she knew to be the right thing. I’m so proud to call her my friend and even more ecstatic to call her my sibling in Christ (Prov 31:10). What about you? How does your character stack up?

Jesus? Yes or No?

Have you ever decided you don't like a particular food without trying it? I have a couple of people in my life who've done just that. It's so frustrating to me. They will just decide they don't like something and they don't even know what's in it. I will explain or cajole and still nothing - "I just don't like it." They have no idea what they are missing out on, but I can almost convince them to try it for themselves and then they will back off - almost convinced. But they are still not convinced. They still miss out. 

That is the way a lot of people are about Jesus. They may be almost convinced to accept and still not choose to have freedom in Him. I believe that's either out of fear of the unknown, the belief that they aren't good enough for Him or the belief they are somehow giving something up. In their minds, they have time to get it right later. But as my aunt said in Family Bible Study this week, time is not in our hands. As Ecc 9:11 states, "....time and chance happen to them all." We don't control time. We can not control all that happens to us, we can only choose right this moment what we will do or say. 

So the question is Jesus? Yes or No? Are we convinced or not? There is no in between. Either we're convinced He's the son of God and our Savior or we aren't. Either we believe  and  have asked Him for forgiveness or  we haven't. Either we've stepped from death into live or we haven't. Either we've sons and daughters of the Most High God through our belief in the redemptive power of Jesus death, burial and resurrection or we aren't. There is no middle ground. To be almost convinced or persuaded is to be not convinced or persuaded. It's to be without the benefits of being God's child. 

Yes, we are all His creation and created in His image (Gen 1:27), but we decide where we spend eternity - God gave us free will and we choose. I've heard people ask, if God is so  good, He wouldn't send anyone to hell. They are correct. He doesn't send His creation there.  We were headed there due to the original sin in the garden and some never changed their mind or made a different choice. They could have chosen Him but didn't - almost convinced  or not - those who don't  choose Jesus are choosing the devil. Choosing to wait is choosing the devil. All we have is right now. We can't depend on later because it is not  promised to  any of us. We may take time for granted and we may be wrong. Don't wait - choose Jesus today. He will never let you down. Your prayers may not be answered in the way you want, but He is always working things out for your good if you love Him and are called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28). 

Where are You Investing?

Lately, there has been lots of talk about how the stock market is doing and whether we’re in a recession? How long will a recession last? How soon will we recover? What will be the lasting impact on families and investors? It’s creating anxiety and worry among those who are dependent on money as their source. Don’t get me wrong, we all need some money to buy the things we need and to support ministry and all the other important things money can help us achieve. But at the end of the day, those of us in Christ know that money is a resource, it is not The Source (Rom 11:36). 

Not only do we invest the money God has given us stewardship over, we also invest our time in different things – school, work, activities, family, TV, music, reading, etc. We give our time and money to the things that are important to us. So the question is, where are you investing your time, energy and money these days? It’s a question we all have to answer, because it tells us where our heart is. The bible says where our treasure is, there is our heart also (Matt 6:21).  For some of us treasure is money, for others it’s time. I know for me, my time is more valuable to me than money. 

This is something for us to consider. Where are we investing? Investing suggests you will get a return. So if you invest time and effort in something, you expect a positive result. If you invest money in something, you expect to get a return on that investment. God says in Mal 3:10, that if we bring 10% of our increase (the whole tithe) into His storehouse, He will pour out a blessing that we won’t have room to receive it. Sounds like a good exchange to me. 

I’ve said before that everything we do, say, and think matters. If that’s the case, where are we spending the majority of our time and money and energy? I’m sad to say that work takes up a lot of my time and energy. I probably spend more time working than anything. That said, I take the Lord with me to work. I talk to Him about the things going on there and ask for wisdom and guidance when situations could be overwhelming. I seek His guidance with how I interact with my staff and others, especially when they are in need of an encouraging word or act. I want to make sure He is reflected in the best light. I want people to see Him in me. I don’t seek Him enough mind you, but I take Him with me wherever I go. And I want to be clear about something, He is everywhere all the time. He sees and He knows (Psa 139:1-4). What I mean is that I acknowledge Him there; I don’t pretend He’s not there and sees all I do and say. I mess up but I know He already knows, so it affords me a freedom when I talk to Him about it. 

Back to the original question, where are you investing? Are you using your time, energy and money to further God’s kingdom or are you behaving like the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) by using the resources God has given you just for a good time? I beg you to consider your choices in this. God will bless you, but think of all you could be missing out on by investing in the wrong things. God is Good and His gifts are, too (James 1:17). Put your treasures into someone sure and not something temporary that will pass away. You won’t be disappointed.